This was, I shit you not, a school assignment.
Okay so I just took one deep breath while I was holding my hand around my left pectoral, and then I could feel tension and pain, and then something I could feel something thud/snap/pull back into place, something small and fibrous, as far as I could tell (not like a bone, so unrelated to my earlier rib-dislocation or whatever that was), and now everything’s back to normal.
I would be about ten times more concerned if this hadn’t happened before. But it hasn’t happened in forever and this time it really hurt.
Okay so I’m really weirded out.
Acquaintance: Hey, can I see what’s on your iPod?
Me: Uh, sure. I think you’ll actually like a lot of the stuff on there, even if you haven’t heard of ‘em. I listen to some pretty indie stuff, you know, so it’s kinda out there and stuff and are you looking at it? Oh okay good I just wanted to make sure because I just think you’ll really like it it’s all really good music and I JUST THINK YOU’LL LIKE IT OKAY DO YOU LIKE ME YET AM I COOL LOVE ME.
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) just shuffled on.
I get very serious when I’m having an impromptu dance-off against myself.
Okay so I got my haircut today. It’s a different style now, slightly, but it was a cut my hairstylist hadn’t seen before, and when she got done she took a step back.
And she said, “Dang. You look good in every hairstyle! First you had the longer hair swept over to the side, then I cut it shorter for you with the flip, and now this!”
I tried to play it real cool-like, but I think I blushed. A lot.
Based on two years of anecdotal evidence, I have concluded that I will be the only gay male in my social circle for the rest of time.
I just finished watching Source Code, and there were about five minutes where I forgot that I didn’t actually look like Jake Gyllenhall.
I can’t even imagine what my face looked like when I remembered.
Well, I’ll put that on my list of Things Not To Do With A Beard-Trimmer.
and there are these little packets of seasoning with it. One is labeled “Peanut Sauce Mix ABBCGA-06.” The other one, helpfully, is labelled “20g ABBADA.”
I just ripped it open, and there were about five seconds where I honest-to-god thought it might be holding a 20g bag of cocaine.
Turns out it’s just coconut flavoring.
- Grocery shopping with Momdra
- Super Secret Project with Lauren
- Mow the lawn
- Post the 100 Followers gift that I promised you (There’s 122 of you now! You’re all excellent and attractive and wonderful!)
- Probably at least one gpoy
- Something else that I was about to type but then forgot while I was thinking about how wonderful and attractive and excellent my followers are.
For some reason
The last few times I’ve seen a random attractive person in public
I think to myself
"Mm-mm, Honey B."
This has been a post.