The Italian Job remake with Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, and Mos Def is seriously one of the best movies ever and if you haven’t seen it yet you should probably stop for a moment right now and actually evaluate what your life means.
-kotori answered: short storyyyy
r0yalewithcheese answered: your boobies
troyisred answered: Short story! It’s been a while since we’ve seen some of your writing. Although r0yalewithcheese’s suggestion is fine too.
thelostfinch answered: Arlo, Arlo, Arlo. Please!
jtem answered: Talk about the weather.
Three votes for short story, two votes for boobies, and one for the weather….
Short story it is!
in one of my classes. We’ll call her Sally for anonymity reasons. Sally is one of the most frustrating people I’ve ever had the misfortune of spending three hours a day with.
Here’s why: every time she raises her hand in class, word vomit comes spews out Mean Girls-style. I used to be irked to no end by it, but I’ve come to realize that I get some sort of sadistic pleasure from it. The same kind of pleasure one gets from watching Friday. I’ve made this handy illustration to depict what happens:
Notes:
Main point - Inflammatory if possible. Promise neutrality before harrowingly plunging to one side of the issue or the other. Have no regrets. Take no prisoners.
Weird rambling - Now that you’ve been talking for two minutes, lose track of where you were headed. Make something up. Start on a new point. Don’t worry about us, though: nobody was riding your train of thought to begin with.
Unintelligible noises - Lose track of whatever additional points you were trying to make. You’ve been flapping your arms for emphasis. Start whimpering and gurgling to augment your arm flapping. But what is your arm flapping emphasizing now? We’re not really sure. We don’t really care.
Trailing listlessly - Take advantage of the fact that you’ve stunned 100 people to speechlessness by concluding your monologue with ten seconds of awkward silence.
*Half-baked conclusion optional.
It’s gotten to the point where I’m actually flailing helplessly with fits of mirth by the time she’s finished. I mean absolutely no ill will to Sally, but seriously. Some people.
They take me home and buy every penny of my $150.17 iTunes Wishlist.
Does anyone know where I can find this person?
